


I Need Your Help

by peterpan_in_neverland



Category: Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 11:23:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12034863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterpan_in_neverland/pseuds/peterpan_in_neverland
Summary: Your sister is getting married in two weeks, and your mother demands that you bring a date. Who better than Broadway star, Lin-Manuel Miranda?





	1. Chapter 1

“You're coming home for your sister's wedding, right?” Your mom asked. You had just answered the phone, and had been unable to get even a simple greeting out. “Because Kalena will be devastated if you don't make it. And  _ I _ will be disappointed.” You should have known that the concerning tone she had taken would not have lasted long. 

“I am coming, Mom, I already told-” 

“And are you bringing a date?” She asked, then made a tutting sound. “I should know better than to ask. You haven't been on a date in maybe seven, eight months?” 

“Mom-” 

“Just- find someone suitable. And get away from that Broadway show, you know how- how unsuccessful people can become in that business, and you aren't even in a leading role-” 

“ _ Mom _ !” You snapped, your tone harsher than you intended. “I will get a date, and I enjoy my work. Hamilton is doing really well.” 

“Just bring a date-- an attractive one, We can't have an unattractive man at your sister's wedding,” your mom said. “I have to go, wedding things. Goodbye Y/N.” She hung up, and you resisted the urge to throw your phone at the wall. 

You  _ hated _ talking to your mother. Kalena had always been her favourite-- and it wasn't her fault, either. She was the oldest, the smartest, and the prettiest. At least, in your mother's eyes. Kalena had always told you how beautiful and smart you were, and that if she became anything like you, she’d be happy. Kalena wasn't like your mother, and you were grateful for that everyday. 

She was getting married in two weeks, to her high school sweetheart. Christopher was great, but you knew that any man you brought, your mother would compare to him. You wanted to scream in exasperation, but you couldn't. You had a show to dance in three hours. A show your mother disapproved of-- no, you had to put your mother out of your mind if you were going to survive the rest of the day. 

You took a quick nap and showered before heading to the Richard Rodgers. You turned into your dressing room almost immediately-- actually, Jasmines. You were taking over for her today, and you had to get into the zone before you even put on the red dress for act two. You had at least two hours before that would have to happen, so for now you settled with sinking into a chair and poking at some Chinese food.  

Eventually, Pippa and Renée drifted in. You knew that they would be able to tell that something was up, so you did your best to hide your face in your Chinese food. 

“Y/N?” Pippa asked. Your Chinese food disguise must not have helped your case, and you slowly raised your head. “Are you alright?” She asked, and you sighed. 

“Have I told you about my mother?” You asked them, and they shook their heads. 

“All you've said about her is that you don't get along,” Renée supplied. 

“My mother has been demanding that I be perfect, just like my sister-- it isn't her fault. I love Kalena a lot, it's just. Mom favours her and not me,” you answered. “Anyway, Kalena is getting married is two weeks and mom is demanding that I bring a hot date.” 

“Why is that?” Pippa asked, wrinkling her nose. 

“I don't know, she just--  _ is _ . But I don't have a date to bring and I have no money to pay an attractive prostitute to fake being my boyfriend so--” 

“What about Lin?” Renée asked, her face spelling out that it was the obvious answer. 

“What about Lin what now?” You asked, setting your now empty Chinese food container on the ground. 

“Ask him to be your fake date,” she said. “I mean, Anthony is with Jasmine, Leslie is married, Oak has a girl, and Daveed has a huge puppy crush on an ensemble member--” 

“Daveed what?” Pippa asked. 

“Nothing,” Renée covered up quickly. “But, Lin is the obvious choice.” 

“I'll think about it,” you said, and checked the time. “We should start getting ready.” 

\---

You put off asking Lin for help for as long as you could. Finally, it was a few days before the wedding and you were leaving the next morning-- you were out of options. 

You anxiously knocked on Lin’s dressing room door, trying to keep from shaking. He opened it, looking adorably rumpled, his hair falling out of his ponytail and his shirt rucked up, like it had just been put on. “Y/N?” 

You blinked, “yeah, uh-- can I come in?” 

“Of course.” He opened the door wider, allowing you to walk in and stand in his dressing room. He shut the door with a gentle click, leaning against it. “What can I do you for?” He asked, his eyebrows raised.  _ How _ had you not noticed how cute he was? 

“Um, my sister's getting married in a few days-- that's why I won't be here, but that's besides the point,” you said, tripping over your words. “A-anyway, My mom is demanding that I bring a date and no one is available so--” 

“You need me to be your fake boyfriend?” He asked, a smile on his face. 

“Oh god, I'm so sorry for asking, I should have just gone and--” 

“No, Y/N. I'm saying yes.” 

“And I-- wait, what?” You asked, stunned and momentarily at a loss for words. 

He took a few steps toward you. “I'm saying yes. I don't have a problem with playing your boyfriend so you can survive this.” 

You pulled Lin into a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! Ugh, I don't know what I would do without you.” You pulled back, biting your lip, and knowing without a doubt that your face was bright red. 

“Have you ever fake-dated anyone before?” Lin asked. 

“Once in high school, but it was a  _ long _ story and I don't care to delve into it,” you answered, laughing. 

“Okay, the one thing I know about this-- exclusively from watching movies is that you have to work out the details.” 

“Oh, I get it. You can come back to my place, and we can work it out there.” Lin nodded, grabbing his jacket. “Let's go.” 

\---

“Okay, so, when did we meet.” 

“Work, obviously,” he answered, throwing a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “When did we start going out is what we want to be asking ourselves.” 

“Okay, what's our story, playwright?” 

He leaned forward, putting his elbows on her knees and rubbing his stubble. “So, I met you on The day you auditioned and through you were cute. You ended up getting hired-- not because the cute thing, because you're talented--” 

“Good to know you value me for more than my dashing good looks,” you interjected, joking and eating a piece of popcorn. 

“Shush, I'm telling you the story.” He held a finger up to his lips. “And then on your first day, I was so distracted by you on stage that Tommy yelled at me.” 

“Yelling at the star, Tommy has guts.” 

Lin gave you a look, but didn't say anything. “I complimented you on your stellar first performance, we became friends, and I dug up the courage to ask you out. Voilà.” 

“Okay, when did we get together?” 

“Well, I am generally very shy and awkward, so about a year ago,” he said, then stopped. “Wait, your family--” 

“Will totally believe that I didn't tell them about you,” you answered. You knew it was true. 

Lin furrowed his brow. “Why?” 

“Because my mother is,” you paused. “Not the best.” 

He nodded in an understanding way. “I get you,” he said. “Okay, the terms of this whole fake-dating scheme. What's allowed, hand-holding, cheek kisses, what?” 

“It has to seem real. So,” you paused, thinking it over. “Hand holding, Kissing-- but only on the lips if you ask me first-- We'll probably have to share a bed, So be prepared.” You shrugged. “That's all I got.” 

“Alright.” He looked at the time, and cringed. “It's almost midnight, I should probably head home.” 

“You could stay,” you suggested, unable to stop yourself. “I mean, we’ll have to share a bed. Might as well get used to it a bit before hand.” He took a second to think it over, then nodded. 

“I don't see why not.” 

“The bedroom is down the hall, I'm gonna take a shower.” 

“I… will go get some pajamas.” Twenty minutes and a shower later, you were sitting on your couch when Lin came back. 

“I had to get pajamas,” he explained, holding up the bag. 

You laughed. “You can change in the bathroom, I'm going to bed.” You walked into your room while Lin headed for the bathroom. You slipped under the covers, checking your phone one last time before plugging it in. 

Lin came in, wearing ninja turtle pajama pants and a black tank top. You wolf whistled. “Fancy, Miranda.” He smiled, walking over to the unoccupied side of the bed. 

“Do I get a goodnight kiss?” He asked, and you snorted. 

“Don't push your luck, Miranda.” You settled in, facing Lin. You watched him lay down, tucking a arm under his pillow and closing his eyes. Suddenly, feeling incredibly bold, you moved forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek, before laying back down, facing away from Lin this time. 

You heard him chuckle, before sliding an arm around your waist and pulling you flush against him.  _ Okay _ , you thought,  _ I could get used to this _ . 

Your last thought before sleep consider you was that Lin smelled comfortable, like sandalwood and home. You fell asleep smiling. 


	2. I Need Your Help

You woke Lin up early to make sure he was able to pack before your flight back home. Your mother had already bought two tickets-- you had no clue why. She seemed to have zero faith in your ability to get a date in time for the wedding. 

You couldn't wait to show up with your date-- he should fit all of your mother's standards. Handsome, smart, talented, and with a steady career. He was perfect. Even your Broadway loathing mother would have to admit it. 

You and Lin made it to the airport on time after rushing through his apartment to pack, and made it through airport security. Soon enough, you were boarding your flight, and panic was starting to set in. Sure, Lin was handsome and smart and talented-- but to your mom, there was a high chance that you still wouldn't be good enough, no matter  _ who  _ your date was. 

You dug your nails into your palm, which was the first telltale sign that you were  _ extremely _ stressed. 

“Hey,” said Lin. He grabbed your hand softly, rubbing his thumb along the spots where your nails were digging into your palm. “It's going to be alright.” 

“It's  _ not _ going to be alright,” you said, digging your nails deeper into your palm. You wanted so badly for the pain to distract you, but you got nothing from it. “Mom is going to be so awful,” you breathed out. 

“Y/N, stop.” Lin gently took your hand in both of his, and uncurled your fingers out of your palm. You knew without looking that you had managed to split the skin on your palms into half moons, and Lin looked up at you. “It will all be okay, love.” 

“No, it-” 

“Hey, look at me,” he said, and you turned to him. Something about his eyes managed to calm you down whenever you looked at them. “Everything will be fine-” 

“You can't promise that,” you whispered. 

Lin was silent for a moment. Finally, he said, “that's true. But I can promise that I'm gonna be right here for this whole thing. Right by your side, your hand in mine. Got it?” 

“I think so.” You we're still freaking out, but the panic was being majorly overwhelmed by the knowledge that Lin would be there.  _ It will be okay. You can survive this. _

“Good,” Lin said, before kissing the palm of your hand right over where your nails had split your skin. “You should get some rest. The flight is on the long side and we weren't asleep until late and got up early.” 

“Are you sure you'll be fine if I sleep? No dying of boredom?” 

“None here,” Lin said. “Get some rest.” 

You nodded, and closed your eyes, getting as comfortable as the plane seat would allow. You didn't even realize that you had began to fall asleep holding Lin's hand until you were on the brink of sleep, and there was nothing you could do to let go. 

\--- 

Lin work you up with fifteen minutes to spare. You went over the terms of your fake dating again, and just in time to be picked up by Kalena. 

She was waiting for you both outside of the airport with a huge smile on her face. “Y/N!” She pulled you into a huge hug, while Lin stood awkwardly to the side. 

“I missed you so much, Y/N! I'm so glad to see you-- who's that?” Kalena asked, breaking off in the middle of her sentence after pulling back from the hug. 

“Oh, um, this is Lin. Lin, this is my sister, Kalena.” 

“Nice to meet you,” Lin said, sticking out his hand for her to shake. She took it, and you could practically breathe a sigh of relief. Kalena seemed to approve of him, at least through her body language. 

“You as well,” she said, before dropping his hand. “Are you Y/N’s friend?” 

“Boyfriend, actually,” he said, smiling through a wicked bright pink blush. 

Instantly, Kalena whirled on you. “Why didn't you tell me?” She asked, and you bit your lip. 

“Uhh-- I wanted it to be a surprise!” You lied, hoping it sounded convincing enough. “So, surprise!” 

Kalena didn't look convinced. “Sure,” she said. “C’mon, I parked over here.” She lead you both to her car, and you hopped in the front seat, leaving Lin to sit in the back after loading yours and his luggage in the trunk. 

“Why didn't you tell me?” Kalena asked, while Lin was putting the luggage away. 

“I was worried about what the family would say, you know how they are,” you whispered back. 

“I guess,” she said, looking upset. She brightened a bit. “I’m glad I got to meet him and  _ really _ get first impressions in person instead of through the phone.” 

“Okay, everything is packed in the trunk. Ready to go?” Lin asked, after climbing into the backseat. 

“Yeah,” Kalena said, and pulled out of the parking lot. “Soooo, when did you two meet?” 

You looked back at Lin, your eyes sending him the signal that it was his turn to talk. “Oh, so, we met when she auditioned for Hamilton. We thought she was great, hired her, and we pretty much became friends from there. I always liked her, so I gathered the nerve to ask her out and now here we are,” he said, and you smiled back at him. 

“That's sweet,” Kalena said, smiling. “What was your first date like?” 

You panicked-- this hadn't been discussed.  _ Oh no. _ “It was simple,” you said, at the same time Lin said, “kind of fancy.” 

You panicked even more, but somehow fixed it all. 

“Lin, you're thinking of our  _ second _ date. Our first date was a basic dinner-and-a-movie scheme. The second one was fancy dresses and waiters that speak French.” Kalena giggled at your joke, and Lin breathed a silent sigh of relief while you mentally thanked the gods. 

“I approve,” Kalena finally said. 

_ Thank god. _

\--- 

You helped unload all the bags you had brought, and drag them up to the room you and Lin would be sharing. Your mother was out, and you had never been more grateful for that in your life. It gave you and Lin a chance to get settled and for you to show him around the house without snide remarks every two minutes. 

You walked back out to see if there was anything else, and overheard Kalena and Lin. 

“I may not seem very threatening, but I promise, I will murder you if you hurt my baby sister,” Kalena said, and you wanted to laugh. You knew there was no  _ actual _ threat to what she was saying, but it was still a great show nonetheless. Lin would probably be scared out of his wits. “The whoooooole murder scene. The stuff that would be in college textbooks about crime scene investigation.” 

“I get it,” Lin said. You couldn't see his face, but you imagined that he either was scared or was faking it for Kalena’s sake. 

“Good. Now be on your way,” she said. “And seriously, be good to my little sister.” 

You walked back to the car, resolving to act like you heard nothing. “Anything else I can get?” You asked Lin, who was a suspicious shade of white. Kalena must have been much more threatening than she sounded. 

“No, I can get the last bag,” Lin said, making his way to the trunk. 

You thought about waiting for him, but all that was dashed when you heard your mom's car coming up the driveway. The part of you that was still a girl in high school and hated your mom the most wanted you to turn and run in the other direction. To hop on a plane back to New York and put an entire 2000+ miles between the both of you. 

The car stopped, and your mom hopped out. She still looked the same-- hair perfectly curled, her nails immaculate, and her eyes a judgemental brown that made you want to look away from her. 

“Y/N, looking as tired and scruffy as usual,” your mother said, before moving onto Lin. “And who is  _ this _ ?” She sounded more curious and less condescending, so you jumped on the opportunity. 

“This is my boyfriend, Lin. I'm--” 

“Boyfriend?” Your mom asked, turning to you momentarily with an angry look, before turning back to Lin. “Lin, dear, someone like you could do so much better than my daughter.” Your nails found the cuts in your palms and pressed down, the pain shocking you, but fueling you down to your toes. 

Lin stopped in his tracks, looking from you to your mother. “Personally, I think Y/N could stand to do much better than just me,” Lin said, and you could tell he was trying to keep the anger in his voice to a minimum, though he was failing. 

Your mother was silent. She clearly wasn't used to people talking to her like that, though you tried several times. “Well,” she finally said, bristling. “Tell me about yourself. Where do you work?” 

You sucked in a breath. Lins job would ruin the whole thing, and you'd continue to be the extra, throwaway daughter. 

“I work in theatre-- I wrote the musical that I'm starring in. It's the same one that Y/N is in,” Lin said, his tone even. Usually he got excited when talking about Hamilton, but now he looked ready to be anywhere but here, talking to your mom. 

“Oh, of course,  _ I _ see it now,” your mom said. “ _ Broadway _ . So you're just like my daughter, totally fine with a career that goes nowhere.” 

You and Lin both knew that Broadway could be iffy and somewhat fickle, but Hamilton was doing so well. You didn't see it closing anytime soon, so what Lin said next blew you away. “Yes, actually.  _ I’m  _ completely fine with that.” 

It seemed to blow your mother away as well, because she stood there for too long with a stumped look on her face. “Well,” she said, after an extended period of time. “At least you're handsome.” 

\--- 

The rest of the day was excruciating. Your mother slipped in comments everywhere she could-- about your job, your appearance, your body, Lin, and how he could do much better. You relearned your skill of brushing it off, but it seemed that you also gained your after dark breakdowns again. 

That's how you found yourself crying as quietly as you could upstairs while Lin and Kalena finished cleaning up the dishes from dinner. Your mother, after a particularly nasty comment fueled by too much vodka, went to bed. You knew she was asleep by now, and you wanted nothing more than to fall asleep or stop crying. You wanted so badly for Lin to think you were stronger than you were. 

You didn't hear him coming until it was too late-- he had already pushed open the door and found you laying flat in bed, your chest heaving, and your hair matted to your face from all the tears you had shed. 

“Y/N?” Lin asked, and you had never heard someone sound so worried about you in your entire life. Not even Kalena. But, then again, she had never seen you like this. 

If it would have been anyone-- especially your sister-- that had opened your door, you would've denied ever being hurt by what your mother said to you. The crying could be accounted for with stubbing your toe, or hitting your hip on a dresser. You'd tell the person that had opened your door to leave you alone and don't come back. 

But the person that had opened your door was not your sister or your mother or anyone else in the world. This was Lin, the person that had calmed you down when you had dug your nails into your palms and wanted to scream until your voice left you. 

“I can't anymore,” was all you managed to choke out before dissolving into more tears, and Lin was by your side and the door was closed before you even knew what had happened. 

“Is there anything I can do?” He asked. You could just register how unsure he sounded, despite how calm he seemed on the plane. But the plane was just a fraction of the breakdowns you had had in your life. 

“Calm me down,” you said, forcing yourself to stop crying long enough to talk. “Hold onto me or-or tell me to take deep breaths.” 

Within an instant Lin was next to you and had shifted you well enough that you were laying on his chest, right next to his heartbeat. The steady rhythm began to calm you down. 

“Can you take deep breaths with me?” Lin asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He had started to comb his fingers through your hair, relaxing you. You nodded, and started breathing along with Lin. 

Before you knew it, you were feeling your eyes slip closed. “I'm gonna fall asleep,” you muttered to Lin. 

“That's alright, you need sleep,” Lin said, and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Get some sleep, love.” You felt yourself drift off to sleep, Lins heartbeat your only company. 

\---

“Kalena, hi,” Lin said. He had just managed to slip out of bed without waking you up in the process, and had come to the kitchen to bring you a glass of water to drink once you woke up. He had run into Kalena, who looked to be doing the same thing. 

“Lin,” she said. “Glasses are in the cabinet above the sink.” 

“Thanks,” Lin said. He wasn't quite sure what to think about Kalena yet, but he knew that Y/N loves her unconditionally. Something about her seemed to bug him, though. 

He grabbed two glasses, filling up one for you and the other for him. He stood against the sink, looking Kalena over as she picked at her nails. Finally, it clicked. 

“Have you noticed how your mom treats your sister?” Kalena looked up. Lin could see the sisterly resemble between her and Y/N. They had the same dark curls, the same brown eyes, and the same skin tone. 

“I-- sort of. I'm starting to notice it more now. I heard her upstairs, just crying. Once I heard you talking I knew you were with her-- I knew she'd be fine.” 

“Yeah, that's the thing,” he said, setting down his glass. “She's  _ not _ fine. All that crying? That's because of your mother. Because of the things she's said, and done.” Kalena hung her head, and Lin knew she was upset. 

“I've heard of your musicals, and listened to a little bit of them,” Kalena said. 

“Thanks.” That was always Lins standard response to someone saying that they've listened to Hamilton or In The Heights. 

“The line Angelica always says--  _ I love my sister more than anything in this life, I would choose her happiness over mine every time _ .’” Kalena finally looked up, her brown eyes wide. “Do you know how often I've thought of Y/N and thought of that next? Y/N is my baby sister, my longest friend, and the most important thing in my life. I want-- I need to help her, somehow.” Lin stood and listened. He had never imagined Kalena-- who gave her first impression to be of a bubbly girl that didn't feel the need to speak her mind-- to come and give him this speech in the dead of night. “How can I?” 

“Don’t let your mother get away with any of what she says,” Lin said. “Anything with a negative bite to it. If you really want to help your sister out, this is how.” 

“I will,” Kalena said, with no hesitation. 

“I should be getting back to Y/N,” Lin finished. “Goodnight, Kalena.” 

“Goodnight Lin,” Kalena said, her voice firm. Lin began to walk away, and she grabbed at his arm. He turned around, looking her in the eye. “Take care of my sister.” 

\---

You woke up the next morning curled into Lins arms with a feeling of  _ everything will be okay. _

That immediately crashed when you remembered that today was a dressing fitting. You wanted to cry or punch a wall. Or both. 

You procrastinated getting out of bed until it was urgent getting ready time. You pulled yourself out of Lin's arms and took a shower, dressing comfortably. You weren't looking forward to wearing a fancy dress for the fitting, even if it was gorgeous. On the bright side, at least you didn't have to wear a corset like you did for the times you had gone on as a Schuyler sister. 

The ride to the dress shop was spent in silence. You had put in headphones the moment you sat down in the car, hoping to tune out anything your mom had to say. It had worked for the most part, and you had managed to keep your good mood until you arrived at the shop. 

Kalena had wanted a small wedding, so you were the only bridesmaid that Kalena was going to have. The dress she had picked out for you was lovely. It was a gorgeous baby blue with a top bedazzled with silver jewels and glitter. The skirt was a gauzy material that would most likely hit your knees. 

Your mother would hate it on you. 

She'd go on and on, you could already hear it. Mentally, you placed votes on which remark she would say first once you walked out of the little room that had for people to change in. 

You slipped into the dress. It settled on your skin like soft rain, and you would almost feel comfortable in it if it wasn't for the fact that your mother would see you. 

You gathered all your courage, and walked out. “What do you think?” You asked, and Kalena turned around first. 

“Oh, Y/N! You look so lovely! It fits you so well and the colour looks so good on you!” Your sister gushed, before your mother had a chance to get anything out. 

Your mother considered you for a moment, before walking forward. “It's a bit tight looking around your waist, and makes your stomach look fat-- not surprising, you've always been chubby,” your mother critiqued, walking around you like you were an art piece, not a person. “Your legs don't look very good with this dress, and your hair is too frizzy-- but that isn't the fault of the dress, hopefully someone can fix that come wedding time.” Your mother finally stopped, and tapped her nails together. 

She turned back to your sister. “Kalena, are you sure it isn't too late to pick a new bridesmaid? One that is… better to look at?” Something inside you seemed to snap, otherwise you never would have run for the bathroom like you did. 

Barely managing to hold in your tears, you turned against a wall, trying to calm down by running your fingers along the smooth tiles that decorated the wall. 

You heard a knock on the door, followed by a soft, “Y/N, it's Kalena. Can I come in?” You pushed yourself off the wall and turned the lock, opening the door enough for her skinny frame to fit through it, before closing and locking it again 

“Why did you want me to be your bridesmaid?” You asked, unable to keep it in any longer. You were the ugly, pathetic, useless throwaway sister. You were nothing extraordinary. Hell, you even had to beg Lin to come and be your “date.” You couldn't even call him your actual date, either. He was just a friend-- acquaintance, even-- that took pity on you. You sank to the floor, wanting to be anywhere but here. 

“Because you are my beautiful sister,” Kalena said, sinking into the floor next to you. “And I would never have anyone else.” 

“But Mom-”  

“I don't care what she says about you or me, ever. You are the most important thing to me, and I love you more than anything in this life,” she said, smoothing your hair away from your face. “You are always my first choice, my best friend. Nothing that mom, or anyone, says or does can ever change that.” 

“I'm so glad that you're my sister,” you said, laughing through your tears. “When I get married, you're my bridesmaid. Let's hope you don't screw it up before then,” you laughed, and Kalena laughed with you. 

“When you marry Lin, I'll definitely be your bridesmaid,” she said, and kissed your forehead. “C’mon sis, you get to see my looking awful in my wedding dress.” She stood up, and helped you to your feet. “Let's go.” 

\---

The days passed quickly, and eventually there was only four days until it was wedding time. 

Lin had gone to bed, and your mother had drank too much wine at dinner and was out cold in her bedroom, which left you and Kalena. 

“Kale,” you asked, a sudden thought plaguing you. “Have you had any sort of celebration.” 

“Have I what?” She asked, looking up from the book she was reading. 

“Like, a bridal shower or anything,” you suggested, raising your eyebrows. 

“No, I didn't think it was necessary,” she said, shrugged, and went back to her reading. 

“No,” you demanded, grabbing her book out of her hand and shaking your head. “Absolutely not.” 

“Y/N, what are you doing?” She asked, sitting up and reaching for her book. 

“I am celebrating your bride-ness. We're gonna drink and be dumb sisters,” you announced, setting her book on the coffee table after marking her spot. You walked into the kitchen, grabbing some shot glasses and vodka from the liquor cabinet. 

Your turned to your sister. “I bet I can outdrink you.” 

Too many shots later, you and Kalena were rightfully and truly drunk. You both had been babbling on about nonsense things-- wedding jitters, your mother, stories from high school, and your idiotic high school boyfriend. 

“Oh god, Lucas was the  _ worst _ ,” you said, laughing along with your sister. “Nothing like Lin.” 

“Ooooh, Liiiiin. I love Lin with you. He seems really, really, really, really good for you,” you sister rambled. 

“Ugh, hes soooo perfect. His handsome face, and he's just so  _ smart,”  _ you said, alcohol clouding your judgement. I just love him so much, I wanna be with him for the rest of my life.” 

“Awww, Y/N, that's so sweet,” Kalena replied, and continued to ramble on about the sweetness. 

Neither of you noticed Lin standing at the bottom of the stairs, or heard his footsteps going back up the stairs, with a completely new hope. 

\--- 

“I can survive this,” you said to yourself in the bathroom mirror. The wedding rehearsal went great, and gave your mother no time to say anything to you, but the rehearsal dinner was different. She would have every chance to sneak in remarks and say awful things, and it was already beginning to overwhelm you. 

“I can survive this,” you repeated, taking a deep breath. “Kalena is on my side, Lin is on my side. I can survive this.” You knew everyone would be expecting you by now. You had excused yourself to the bathroom as soon as you got there, and had been locked in the bathroom for too long. 

You took another deep breath, and unlocked the bathroom door, walking out. You walked straight past your mom, and to Lin. “Have you met my future brother-in-law yet?” You said, picking up a glass of wine. 

“Yes, and Christopher seems great,” Lin said. You weren't quite sure what it was, but Lin seemed to be much more… upbeat? “Hey, can we talk?” Your blood ran cold. His tone scared you have to death. 

“Yeah, I-” you were cut off by the sound of glass clinking, and you turned to it. “Oh god.” You said. Your mother was standing up, an empty wine glass in her hand. You knew by her mannerisms that she was tipsy, and tipsy made her even meaner than sober. 

“I would like to say that I'm so excited for my daughter, Kalena’s, wedding,” your mother said.  _ Okay, mellow enough so far _ . “Her bridesmaid, my other daughter, may be inadequate and not the best to look at, but I don't think she'll ruin the wedding entirely. At least her boyfriend, who could do much better than her, is good-looking--” 

“Mom, that is enough!” Kalena shouted. “All of my life, I've heard you be nothing but terrible to Y/N! She's your daughter, you should love her unconditionally!” 

“Nonsense, she may be my daughter but she's not anything like you or me,” your mom said. “Look at us, Kalena. You're a beautiful young lady that's marrying a handsome man. The only good thing about Y/N is that her boyfriend is handsome-- not any better than Christopher, but still handsome.” 

“That is enough, Mom,” Kalena said again. “If you can't be kinder to Y/N-- and when I say kinder, I mean treating her like a  _ person _ then the moment I'm married I'm leaving this town and cutting contact with you. Y/N is perfect to me and to everyone that loves her, and if you can't see it, then you aren't worth it,” Kalena announced, her voice growing in pitch and volume. You wanted to cry. 

“Well then,” your mom declared, before walking off. 

“Oh my god,” you whispered, tears springing in your eyes. “Lin, let's go home.” 

“Of course.” 

\--- 

You had cheered up on the ride home, a smile returning to your face. But, maybe, that was a side effect of the wine you had drank. 

You were standing outside of your bedroom. “Lin, thank you so much for being there for me through this whole thing, I can't thank you enough.” Somewhere in your sentence, Lin's hand had drifted to your cheek and you hadn't even noticed. “Lin?” You asked. He didn't reply with words-- he replied by pressing his mouth to yours. He tasted like the wine from the dinner, and you smiled against his mouth. 

The kiss deepened, and soon your bedroom door was being pushed open and clothes were being thrown across the room, the only constant thing being Lin's hands on your body and his mouth on yours. 

\--- 

You woke up the next morning tangled in your sheets and Lin's arms. You snuggled into him, before realization hit you. You and Lin  _ slept _ together? 

_ Oh no _ . 


	3. I Need Your Help

“Lin, wake up,” you shook him lightly, and his eyes fluttered open.  _ Goddammit, his eyes are pretty.  _ “Do you realize what we did?” His eyes widened a little bit, and a startling presence of mind seemed to grab him full force. 

****

“Oh shit,” he sat up, beginning to scramble around the room to find his clothes. You followed suit, pulling on a pair of underwear and a shirt. 

****

You turned around, running square into an extremely shirtless Lin. You'd seen him shirtless countless of times--you practically lived in his dressing room, it was bound to happen--but you'd never been pressed against him like this. He smelled good, you couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was, but it was good nonetheless. He had a mole on his side, why it took you a year in Broadway with him to notice, you had no clue. You were so in love with him that it was stupid.

****

“We should probably-- um-- get dressed,” Lin said, rubbing the back of his neck after taking a step away from you. 

****

“Good idea.” You took several steps backwards, and grabbed a pair of jeans from your duffel bag. “Mom and Kalena are expecting us for breakfast, anyway.” 

****

“Wait, they are?” He asked, the colour draining out of his cheeks.  _ Why was he so bothered at the news? _

****

“Yeah, it's no big deal,” you said, waving your hand. “Mom’ll probably just make comments on how much I'm eating, but nothing worse than that… in case you wanted to know.” 

****

Lin said nothing in reply, choosing to remain silent. 

****

\--- 

****

The breakfast was going terrifyingly well. 

****

Kalena had picked a little diner in town that always made great breakfasts, and that both of you had loved since you had been young. 

****

Your mother hadn't said anything remotely cruel yet, although she had asked Lin questions about Hamilton and the writing process and had asked about your relationship. Somehow, your mom being civil had you more on edge than her usual commentary on your choices did. 

****

And then there was Lin. 

****

He never looked at you if you were looking at him, but you had caught him staring at you at least a dozen times. His eyes seemed a little brighter whenever he mentioned an intricately fabricated detail of your fabricated relationship. 

****

After a while, you excused yourself to the restroom, and you were certain that Lin watched you walk away.  ****  
** **

 

\---

****

“So, Lin, I have to ask.” Lin snapped back out of his lovestruck daze at the sound of your mother's voice. 

****

“I… yes?” He was expecting a question like ‘why would someone like you stay with someone like Y/N.’ But the question he was asked would have knocked him off his feet if he would have been standing. 

****

“Do you really care about my daughter?” She looked deadly sincere-- her face set, her eyes casting a different kind of warning than their usually cruelty. “I don't want you breaking Y/N’s heart.” 

****

Lin cast a terrified glance at Kalena, who looked back at him with the same terrified look, before shrugging. 

****

“I-- I love her very much,” Lin said. 

****

For the first time all morning, he wasn't telling a lie. 

****

\---

****

The breakfast passed quietly and easily after you came back, but you knew the day would be hectic. Your sister was getting  _ married _ , which felt like the wildest concept. You could still remember building pillow forts and telling ghost stories. The idea of her getting married just seemed so unnatural. But you were excited. Kalena was happy, this was the best you could ever hope her to have. 

****

Before you knew it, you were being whisked off with your sister and mother to get ready. You already hated the prospect of people seeing you in the dress your mother had mocked and criticized, but you'd do it for your sister. That's what you always did. 

****

“Let's go over the schedule again,” your mom was saying, and you already felt panicked. There was no  _ way _ your mother's mood at the diner was permanent-- there has to be something coming. 

****

“We’ll get hair done-- Y/N’s, especially. That…  _ mess _ … has to be dealt with, you're also getting makeup done professionally-- thank God.” Your mother continued on, and you wanted to screw your eyes shut and hideaway somewhere. You knew her good mood at breakfast wouldn't last. 

****

“Y/N, you okay?” Kalena whispered, your mom still continuing on. 

****

“Yeah, I'm alright,” you said, blowing out a breath. You would survive this, and then you'd go back to New York-- putting thousands of miles between you and your mother sounded great right about now. 

****

Your mother hovered while your hair was being done-- the look was simple enough, but your mother felt the need to over complicate it. Every strand of hair had to be perfectly in place, every pin placed strategically. 

****

Finally, after what felt like one million years, your mother deemed your hair ‘suitable’, and sat Kalena down to have her hair done. You took the time to properly look at your hair with a hand mirror. 

****

Sometimes, your mother's relentless nitpicking paid off-- your hair looked great, small flowers and sparkling clips pinned perfectly into it. The updo kept your hair off your neck, the way you liked it, and it looked much more elegant than your regular thrown together buns and ponytails. 

****

Your phone lit up, and you set the mirror down, switching your focus to your cell phone. You smiled when you saw a text from Lin, accompanying the dorky profile photo of him with his hair in pigtails. 

****

_ You doing okay? _

****

The message read. You didn’t want to worry him, but you knew he would be upset with you if you didn’t tell him the truth.

****

_ Decent. My hair somehow simultaneously looks like a “curly rats nest” and “a garbage man's forgotten pickup” but at least it’s done. _

****

The reply from Lin came almost immediately after.

****

_ I bet your hair looks amazing + you do too. Wait, I dont need to bet on you looking amazing, I already know you do ;) _

****

You smiled, feeling a blush rise in your cheeks, and shut your phone back off, setting it down on a countertop. 

****

“Y/N, get over here,” your mother said waving you over. The makeup artist had arrived, and you were first to get makeup done, seeing as Kalena was still having her hair worked on. 

****

Your mother sat you down, and immediately started on what she wanted for you.

****

“I want you to cover up any acne and scarring she has-- she had  _ terrible _ acne as a teenager, she just takes well enough care of herself now to hide it-- hide her under eye bags, they look atrocious,” she continued to rattle on, but you began to tune her out, focusing instead on the humming of the air conditioner in the corner of the room. When your mother had finished prattling on, the makeup artist clicked her tongue while turning to look at you. 

****

You could imagine what she was thinking, and all of it lead back to  _ how in the world am I expected to make this mess look decent?  _ But instead, she surprised you. 

****

“You know,” she said, opening up a bag she had brought with her, “I think you look gorgeous the way you are now. Maybe a little bit of eyeshadow to bring out your eyes, but-- I really do not understand what that- that  _ woman's  _ issue is.” She clicked her tongue again, getting a start on your makeup. 

****

“Believe me, we don't know what her issue is, either.” 

****

“Personally, I don't think she would even notice if I didn't cover half of the things on her list,” she said, looking at your face. “You have almost no acne scars and no acne-- that I can see-- it's just bizarre.” 

****

“Yeah,” you said, flicking your eyebrows up for a moment. “That would be the word.”  

****

\--- 

****

After both you and Kalena had been deemed worthy, you slipped into your outfit, before beginning to help Kalena into her wedding dress (a forty minutes struggle with laces and straps that involved mostly laughter and many curse words, some of which were newly invented). When the final strap was set in its place, you knew, it was _truly_ wedding time. 

****

You and your mother were leaving earlier than Kalena, since you wanted to be there and ready before Kalena would make her grand entrance. 

****

The ride to the wedding destination was spent mostly in silence as you stared out the window. You knew your mother had gone over her mental checklist for you, and you couldn't entirely rule out a rude comment or remark yet, so you held your breath the entire way there. 

****

Finally, you pulled up outside of the wedding, and let out a breath.  _ Just one more day, and then thousands of miles between you and your mother.           _

****

You got out of the car, walking up to the wedding, still holding your breath. 

****

\--- 

****

It had been a long, anxious wait. 

****

Lin’s day had consisted of breakfast, tux, waiting waiting waiting waiting. 

****

He had talked to several of your relatives, and the highlight of the long period of waiting had to be your grandmother cursing loudly, in what Lin could only guess was Japanese. 

****

Lin felt someone tap him on the shoulder, and he turned around to greet the stranger. Christopher's groomsman, John, was standing behind him. 

****

“Look at Y/N,” John said, tilting his head in her direction. Lin turned and looked, and his jaw dropped. 

****

You looked gorgeous. Your hair was pinned up, framing your face with dark curly wisps. Your dress looked amazing on you-- the jewels standing out and the skirt fluttering around your knees. The colour looked beautiful on you, lighting up your eyes. Overall, you looked gorgeous. 

****

“I do not deserve this,” he whispered, watching you as you made your way over to him. 

****

“You okay?” You asked, your eyebrows raised. “You look like you saw a ghost or something.” 

****

“I…” he began, then shook himself mentally. You could never see how utterly head over heels he was. “Yeah, I'm okay. You look gorgeous.” 

****

“No, I just look acceptable,” you said, waving off the compliment. “But you look handsome, Hamilton knows how to clean up,” you remarked, smiling at him. 

****

“Apparently,” Lin replied, focusing on doing anything but staring at you. “When is Kalena getting here?” 

****

“In about fifteen minutes. I'm just going to be waiting up there for her, she knew I'd feel uncomfortable doing literally  _ anything  _ else besides waiting,” you said, raising your eyebrows for a moment. 

****

“How has it been with your mom? Other than the whole garbage thing-- which, by the way, is super wrong. Your hair looks gorgeous and so do you, love.” 

****

“Thanks, Linny,” you said, smiling. “And she's been relatively normal. She didn't really say anything about the dress, but Kalena and I didn't really give her a chance to.” 

****

“That's good,” Lin said, looking around. 

****

“She didn't say anything in the car, either, even though I kept expecting it,” you said, knotting your fingers together and twisting them around. 

****

Lin was about to say something when John walked up, looking at a watch on his wrist. “Hey, we have about five minutes. Lin, you should go sit, Y/N… you do your thing.” You smiled at John, and Lin nodded. 

****

“So, I'm gonna go do my thing. Wish me luck?” 

****

“You won't need it,” Lin said. “But good luck, anyway.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead, and walked back to his seat. 

****

You took a deep breath, and followed John. 

****

\--- 

****

You seemed calm enough. Lin, on the other hand, was freaking out for you. 

****

Despite how calm and cool you seemed, Lin knew you were panicking. And he knew it was because of everything your mother had made you feel about yourself. 

****

Lin didn't even realize who was seated next to him until he turned around. 

****

Your mother was sitting next to him, and Lin was immediately annoyed. Your mother was off putting enough, but then her always immaculate appearance made it worse. There was never a strand of hair out of place, her nails were always perfect, and there wasn't a speck on the dress she was wearing. It only made her judgemental nature worse-- this was a woman that knew exactly how to make every remark, then always have her own back covered to keep it from coming back around to her. The only true comparison he could draw to her would be that of Miranda Priestly and Lord Voldemort's daughter. 

****

He turned back around, resolving to ignore her throughout the ceremony. He sent you a smile and a thumbs up, and you smiled back at him. 

****

People in the small crowd began to stand up, and Lin followed. He caught sight of Kalena walking down the aisle, and looked back to you quickly. 

****

He smiled at you one last time, and somehow, you knew that no matter what your mom could say about you now, everything would be okay. 

****

As long as you had Lin. 

****

\--- 

****

The ceremony had gone on without a hitch, and the reception seemed to be going in much the same way. Your mother hadn't really talked to you yet, and you silently thanked whatever gods were listening for it. 

****

You had mostly been busy talking with Kalena and enjoying the rest of your time here with her. You and Lin were leaving early in the morning. You had been looking forward to it the whole time you were here, but leaving also meant not seeing your sister. You wanted to be away from your mother, but leaving your sister again made you ridiculously upset. 

****

“I'm going to miss you, Kale,” you said, both of you watching Christopher dance with his mom. “Seeing you was pretty much the  _ only  _ upside to this whole time being here.” 

****

“You're not going to have to miss me for long,” she said, and you turned away from the dance floor and looked at Kalena instead. 

****

“What?” 

****

“Christopher and I are hoping to move to New York in a few months,” she said, and you lit up like a Christmas tree. “We’re aiming to find an apartment in your area by January.” 

****

“Yes!” You shouted, pulling your sister into a hug. “Oh my god, I can't wait.” 

****

Kalena pulled away from the hug. “You should go dance with Lin.” 

****

“No, no, no. I don't dance,” you said, then immediately stifled a laugh. 

****

“Y/N,” Kalena said, looking you in the eye and grabbing onto your arms. “You are a dancer. On Broadway.” 

****

“I know,” you said, rolling your eyes at yourself. “But it was worth a shot, right?” 

****

“No,” Kalena said, shaking her head. She grabbed your hands, pulling you out of your chair and pushing you softly in Lin’s direction. “Dance with him.” 

****

“Fine,” you grumbled, making your way to Lin, twisting your fingers together nervously. You stopped in front of him, smiling at him nervously. 

****

“Hi,” he said, giving you a confused look. 

****

“My sister demands that we dance together,” you said, thankful that you managed to get the words you. “And she's literally staring at us with a look of murder in her eyes, so we better dance.” Lin shrugged, but grabbed your hand anyway, leading you onto the dance floor. 

****

One of his hands rested on the small of your back, the other on your hip, rubbing small circles on your side with his thumb. Your arms were around his neck, and you resisted the urge to make a bad joke about this being  _ just  _ like dancing in middle school. 

****

“You look gorgeous, by the way,” Lin brought up, smiling at you. 

****

“No, I really don't-” 

****

“You can't say that in reply every time I call you gorgeous, you know,” he said, laughing a little. “No amount of denial can change just how stunning you are.” 

****

You could feel your blush began, and resisted the strong urge to hide your face in your hands. Your ugly blush had been something your mother drilled into you to hide for so long. 

****

“Hey, about what happened last night--” Lin began, and you cut him off. 

****

“You don't have to worry about it, Lin,” you said, blushing an even deeper shade than before. “It's not that big of a deal.” 

****

“I kind of think it is,” he said. 

****

“I don't want anything to change with us because of it,” you said. You were certain that anything you felt for Lin besides friendship  _ had  _ to be unreciprocated. “You're one of my best friends, Lin.” 

****

“Yeah, but I was thinking--” you knew that whatever Lin was going to say had to be important. So, naturally, the universe had to screw you over. The sound of a microphone being tapped cut Lin off, and you turned to the source of the noise.

****

Your mother, with a wine glass in her hand, was standing at the microphone. 

****

“Oh god,” you whispered, already scanning the room for any escape route. Everything about her standing there screamed danger, and your first impulse was to run. 

****

“I would like to make a toast to my daughter on her wedding day,” your mother said, and you took a deep breath, digging your nails into your palms. 

****

“Kalena, I watched you in high school meeting and falling in love with Christopher, your lovely husband. I have never seen two people more meant to be together.” 

****

“Not too bad so far,” Lin whispered, and you weren't sure if you were meant to hear it or not. 

****

“I think we can all agree that the wedding was beautiful-- I'd also like to say something to my younger daughter, Y/N.” Your mother searched you out in the crowd, and Lin immediately wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his side. You dug your nails deeper into your palms. 

****

“Y/N, I haven't been the best mother to you, and I have no reason for it. Just know that… I love you very much. You looked gorgeous today, and I hope that you can see it yourself,” she said, nodding her head at you for just a moment. She turned back to Christopher and Kalena and continued talking, but you heard none of it. 

****

Your ears were buzzing. You had no idea how to process what you just heard, and did your mother really call you  _ gorgeous _ ? 

****

“Y/N,” Lin said, grabbing one of your wrists. “You're cutting your palms open.” He uncurled your fingers, revealing your palms. You'd opened up the barely healed cuts in your palms, and pushed them much deeper, blood coming up to the surface in a small amount. 

****

“Oh shit,” you cursed, holding up your other hand to examine your palm. They were in much the same condition, and you wanted to punch a wall. 

“C’mon, I'll help you clean these up.” 

****

\---

****

You were sitting on the tiled bathroom floor while Lin cleaned your palms with antiseptic from a first aid kit he had found outside the bathrooms. It stung, but you knew it had to be done. 

****

“Y/N, you have got to stop doing this,” he muttered, holding your hand up to the light so he could look at it. 

****

“I know,” you replied. “I just… panicked. And she said nice things-- for the first time in my  _ whole  _ life,” you said, leaning your head against the cold tile. “I just… didn't know how to react.” 

****

“I get it,” Lin finished wrapping a bandage around your hand, before kissing your knuckles. “You ready to go back out there?” He hadn't let go of your hand, and you didn't want him to. 

****

You took a deep breath. “Yeah, I think I am.” 

****

\--- 

****

The rest of the reception passed quickly. You and Lin left around eleven, and collapsed in bed nearly as soon as you were out of the shower. 

****

You woke up early the next morning, packing everything you hadn't already packed, and left for the airport. 

****

You hugged Kalena goodbye for what felt like ages, until finally you had to board the plane. 

****

You had never been this torn up about leaving your hometown before. You had always been excited about leaving your mother in your dust, but after what she said during the wedding, you were mostly conflicted. But, the excitement about Kalena moving to the city helped quite a bit. 

****

The first half hour of the flight was spent in silence. You flipped through a magazine and Lin scribbled into a notebook. 

****

“Okay, the silence is killing me,” he finally said, closing his notebook and grabbing the magazine out of your hands. “We should talk.” 

****

“About?” You asked, turning to look at him. 

****

“Um…” he said, biting his lip. “Okay, you know more about me than I know about you, so can I ask you some questions?” 

****

“Shoot,” you said. As far as activities to pass the time went, this shouldn't be so bad. 

****

“Okay… first crush?” 

****

You laughed, and pushed your hair out of your eyes. “Okay, so I was in first grade and he was blonde and ran the fastest. Total chick magnet,  _ all  _ the girls had crushes on him.” 

****

“Are you serious?” Lin laughed, smiling widely. 

****

“Dead serious,” you said. “I think his name was Colin or Corey or something.” 

****

“You don't even remember his name,” Lin scolded. “Must not have been  _ that  _ cute.” 

****

“I think now he's a pharmacist,” you said. “Kalena might've mentioned it once.” 

****

“Pharmacy isn't as cool as Broadway,” Lin pointed out, winking at you. 

****

“This is true,” you admitted. “Next question?” 

****

He thought about it for a second. “Speak any other languages?” 

****

“Yeah, actually,” you said, nodding. 

****

“Really?” He said, looking surprised. “What do you speak?”

****

“I know enough Japanese to understand my grandmother-- my mom's mom-- when she shouts Japanese swear words,” you said. “And I also know Hawaiian. My dad's parents taught me.” 

****

“Can you say something in Hawaiian?” He asked. You knew by his body language that he was completely focused on everything you were saying. 

****

“Okay… um,” You thought about it. It finally hit you-- you couldn't tell him you were in love with him in English, but you sure as hell could in Hawaiian. “Aloha au ia 'oe,” You said, smiling at him as his face lit up. 

****

“That is the coolest thing  _ ever _ ,” he said. “I don't think I've ever met someone who speaks Hawaiian.” 

****

“Quite odd. I know many people who speak Spanish,” you said, shrugging with a look on your face. 

****

“It's a small world,” Lin replied. “But what did you say?” 

****

You panicked. You, for some stupid reason, had  _ not  _ anticipated him asking you the meaning of what you said. 

****

“It meant that you have ink on your lips,” you lied. You didn't even think there was even a Hawaiian translation for that, but it was better than telling him the true meaning. “Right here.” You reached out, swiping your thumb along his bottom lip, effectively removing the mark. 

****

“I gotta stop chewing on pens,” Lin said, laughing nervously and rubbing the back of his neck. His face was turning red, and you imagined yours was as well. 

****

“Do you have anymore questions for me?” You asked, hoping to relieve the awkward energy. 

****

Lin started spitballing seemingly random questions at you. Between the laughter and the awkward questions about your high school love life, it was almost like nothing had changed at all. 

****

If only it could stay that way once you got off the plane. 

****

\--- 

****

“Here we are,” Lin said, and you stopped in front of your apartment door. “I… um… I guess the whole fake relationship deal ends now?” 

****

“It ends once I step through my threshold,” you said, laughing to yourself. “You could carry me through, but that wouldn't change the inevitable ending.”

****

The word  _ inevitable  _ hit him like a slap and he could almost feel his heart stinging. Nothing was unavoidable. And even so, he found himself shaping the words goodnight, and telling you to sleep well, that you and him would have a show to do tomorrow. 

****

He watched you walk into your apartment, his mind feeling disconnected from the rest of him. Your door closed with a click, and he suddenly seemed to jump back into himself, everything clicking back in place as he pushed your door back open. 

****

“Lin, what're you--” You were saying, setting one of your bags down on the couch. 

****

“This doesn't have to end here,” he said, taking a step closer to you. Still staying close enough to the door to have an escape route. “We do not have to stop being something but it does have to stop being fake because god  _ dammit _ I'm in love with you.” 

****

“Lin-” 

****

“I've been so stupidly in love with you since I watched you dance through your first show and Tommy yelled at me for paying more attention to you than I did my lines,” he said, his sentences rambled and barely put together, exclaimed into the air in one quick breath. “And then I complimented you on your stellar first performance and you smiled so big and your eyes crinkled at the corners and you laughed but thanked me anyway and we were friends-” 

****

“Lin-Manuel-” 

****

“ _I_ __'m_ not finished _ ,” he said, and could almost laugh at the look on your face. “And then months later you asked me to your sister's wedding because your mother is the worst human on Earth. And you dig your nails into your palms and I have to stop you from doing that, and your mother makes you cry in the middle of the night,” he took a breath, sure he was losing his mind. “And I hate everything about that but by  _ god  _ if you're going to be doing it then I will never stop being the person that uncurls your fingers and kisses the cuts, and that holds you when you cry. Until-- until you don't have to do that anymore.” 

****

“Lin,” you said, wanting to cry and laugh all at the same time. “Lin, you unbelievably ridiculous man.” 

****

“I…” whatever he had expected you to say or do-- say no, throw him from the apartment, hand in your resignation to Hamilton, never speak to him again, just to name a few-- he hadn't expected that. He also didn't expect you to cross the room in a few steps and take his face in your hands and kiss him like the sun wouldn't rise in the morning. 

****

For just a hair’s breadth he didn't respond to it-- his body felt like it was overload-- and then finally his arms unfroze and his mind unlocked and his hands were tangled in your hair and  _ this  _ was what he least expected but hoped hardest for. 

****

You pulled away first, taking a deep breath and pressing your forehead against Lins. Your eyes were focused on his lips, and he could've sworn that his heart was smiling. 

****

“If you couldn't gather it yet,” you whispered, and Lin could feel your lips barely brushing his. “I love you too. Aloha no au ia 'oe.” 

****

“Thank god,” he said, pressing kisses all over your face. “What does that mean?” He whispered, his lips still against your forehead. 

****

“It means  _ I truly love you _ ,” you replied, laughing as Lin pressed another kiss to your forehead. “And what I said on the plane had nothing to do with ink-- it actually meant  _ I love you _ .”          

****

“I am a fool,” Lin said, laughter following the sentence. “But even fools need rest, and I'm feeling the jet lag. How does a nap sound?” 

****

“A nap sounds amazing,” you said. “I'll go change into pajamas, you know where the bedroom is. 

****

You changed quickly, pulling on one of Lin's old shirts that you had stolen from the theatre and a pair of sweatpants to sleep in, and walked into your bedroom. Lin was already half asleep, tucked under your fluffy comforter. 

****

You giggled, but slid into bed next to him, rolling over and closing your eyes. You felt Lin's arm sliding around your waist and pulling you against him. 

****

A few days ago, you would've freaked out-- too worried about exposing your  _ ridiculously huge  _ crush on him-- but now there was nothing left to worry about. You smiled, knowing just how Renée, Jasmine and Phillipa would react when you told them tomorrow.

****

“Y/N,” you heard Lin mutter, his voice sleepy sounding. 

****

“Lin,” you answered, your voice reflecting just how content yet exhausted you were. 

****

“I'm so glad you asked me for your help,” he whispered, pressing a warm kiss to the back of your neck. 

****

“So am I,” you said, smiling bigger than before. “So am I.” 


End file.
